Why People Might Not Want To Roleplay With You


Do you have trouble finding people to roleplay with? Does it seem that people often ignore you or your characters - even people in totally different groups and communities? Do you find that no matter where you go, people seem to lose interest in you or get irritated with you pretty fast? Do you have a track record for getting banned from the RP communities you join? Or are you just looking for some advice to avoid driving people away from you in the first place? Either way, here are some reasons that people might not want to roleplay with someone.



You breach standard codes of RP conduct. For example, you godmod (control the actions of other players' characters), powerplay (create invincible and/or irresistibly powerful characters), kill off other people's characters without their permission, or don't properly designate your OOC posts with ((double brackets)) or whatever the group requires.

You obviously don't know your stuff. You know very little about the setting or its lore, or how what your character does or what your character is using actually works, or even the character you're playing. People who don't know their stuff are typically more trouble than they're worth to play with.

You're constantly negative. You're always criticizing or complaining about something or other, whether or not it's related to the game. Try and keep your positivity outweighing your negativity at a 5:1 ratio - at the very least.

You're a snob. Perhaps you disparage OCs, (lots of people have OCs, even if they don't always play them), or perhaps you disparage other people's play styles, or something along these lines. Perhaps you make a big deal over having "standards" (as opposed to simply describing what you want or are looking for in a roleplaying partner and leaving it at that). Or you act like people who don't know each and every intimate little detail of the setting and its lore are beneath you.

You're a perfectionist. You get bent out of shape when the occasional post is a little on the short side or when the odd spelling or punctuation error happens, or when a player makes any other kind of mistake; or you demand huge, elaborate bios at first go - even when it's not practical for players to produce them.

Your posts are hard to read. Perhaps your posts are huge walls of text, or perhaps they're full of spelling and/or punctuation errors. People often won't even bother with players who make hard-to-read posts.

Your posts give people nothing to work with. A good roleplaying post gives people something they can respond to - such as a question to answer, a statement that makes people want to throw in their own two cents' worth, a situation to respond to, or an action to react to.

Your plots/prompts make no sense. Maybe too little context or description is given to really understand what's supposed to be going on, or maybe they require a character to be totally OOC and/or suffer a major lapse of common sense, or maybe the scenarios are nonsensical and contrived. Either way, if a plot or prompt makes no sense to someone, it'll probably get passed over.

You're too unreliable. If you make a habit of dropping out of or calling an end to a large number of RPs you start, people might decide not play with you altogether because they'd rather not get invested in something they know you're likely to drop soon anyway. Likewise, people might get tired of trying to play with you if your posts are always few and far between because you're constantly distracted with other things, or if things are constantly coming up that you have to leave for.

You're too picky. Do you find yourself turning down a large amount of ideas and suggestions from other people? While you don't have to do anything that squicks you out or bothers you, if you're unwilling to try anything new or different that others suggest, people will eventually find you a boring, even frustrating roleplayer.

You're too predictable. Your characters might all be carbon copies of each other, or your plots might all follow a predictable formula or always involve the same elements. Shake things up to keep yourself from getting predictable and boring.

You're lazy. Perhaps you make no effort to have your characters take any action that would get them involved in the story, or perhaps you constantly put the burden of creative work (EG, coming up with plots) on other people.

You're too demanding or bossy. On the other hand, you're constantly "suggesting" that someone's character does something or that the plot goes a certain way, but never allow people to make suggestions of their own or seriously consider any suggestions they make. Or you get upset or angry when people don't always want to do what you want to do. Or you always expect players to be there to play with you regardless of whatever else they might need to do, or regardless of whether they might like to spend time roleplaying with other people.

You're too impatient. You expect what you want from the story to happen now, without any of the buildup or progression that would realistically need to happen beforehand, or without any of the buildup that would make what you want to happen feel more satisfying.

You expect people to always know what you want without you telling them. This is a completely unrealistic expectation - people can't always know exactly what you want to see happen, especially if they haven't known you for very long. Nobody wants to play with someone who basically gets upset or angry with them for failing to be mind readers.

You're creepy. You talk about inappropriate or uncomfortable topics OOC, or pester people for their personal information, or try to get people to roleplay creepy or uncomfortable scenarios with you. Or you throw tantrums or guilt trips, or just keep asking over and over for what you want when you don't get your way. (Some of these can also indicate a parasitic roleplayer, which the savvy will actively try to avoid.)

You start or feed OOC drama. Such as by making posts visible to people outside of your roleplaying group when you're upset with someone or something in it, gossiping about people in your roleplaying group, trying to get people to "take sides," or by starting arguments and fights where everyone in the group can see them. If people realize you're likely to make OOC drama, they may start avoiding you.

You're self-absorbed. You constantly talk about yourself, your problems, other games you're in or have been in, your own characters, etc.

You're pretentious in some way. You make a big deal over or constantly write about how cool, attractive, pure, strong, smart, wise, powerful, mysterious, weird, spooky, tragic, etc. your characters are. Or you talk about what a great roleplayer you are, or how you're so much better than those other awful players out there. This makes you come off as extremely arrogant.

You try too hard with your characters. You want your character to evoke pity, so you give your character the most tragic backstory you can imagine. Or you want your character to end up in a ship, so you pick the most attractive face claim you can find, regardless of whether or not it makes sense for your character to look like that.

Your characters are too good. They can easily beat just about anyone they come across with nary a scratch, or can effortlessly escape any predicament they're put in or solve almost any problem they come across. People want to be able to contribute and take the lead in doing awesome things themselves, not just watch your character be awesome. And what's more, they want to be able to fight back against your characters, should your characters take a shine to beat theirs up.

Your characters are too nasty. Maybe they're constantly critical, or they're always starting fights over petty matters, or they constantly mock or deride things that other characters care about. Or maybe they're constantly arrogant and condescending, or they're just plain creepy. (This kind of thing can fly if your characters are supposed to be antagonistic figures, but it's not going to encourage people to try to have their characters get closer to yours.)

You can't own your characters' mistakes. No matter what goes down, your characters always have to be innocent - you always blame anything and everything but your characters and their bad decisions. It gets very frustrating trying to roleplay with people who always need their characters always to be perfectly innocent in everything - especially when they do things that they are absolutely at fault for.

Your characters are shallow. For example, they want nothing more than to glom onto a love interest and be happy with that love interest forevermore, or they won't get into any deep discussions, or they have no personal convictions or strong opinions about anything. Shallow characters become boring to interact with fast.

Your characters are just ridiculous. Maybe they act more like four-year-olds than the fourteen-year-olds they're supposed to be, or maybe you make up a bunch of stuff for your characters that isn't lore-friendly, or perhaps their backstories are full of contrivances or cartoonishly evil NPCs.

It's always about your characters. You basically plan to have your characters be the main protagonists of some epic story and for everyone else to fill the roles of secondary characters such as sidekicks, advisors, best friends, antagonists, caregivers, mentors, and love interests. Or you constantly put your characters in danger so as to be rescued, or your characters are constantly sad about something so as to be comforted. Or you create scenarios that require other people's characters to go wildly OOC in some way to make them work.

Your characters are obviously self-inserts. Roleplayers learn quickly that self-inserts aren't worth the effort - their players are often as not parasitic roleplayers, and what's more, they'll usually end up taking anything bad that's said or done to their characters personally (because, after all, their characters are them). So if they realize that your character is a self-insert, they might just turn and run the other way.

Your characters hinder plot progression. Maybe all your characters want to do is sit around and angst. Maybe they won't do anything that doesn't involve getting physical with their love interests. Maybe your characters outright say "no" to things other characters want to do and try. If this is all your character will do, how is the RP supposed to progress anywhere? And why should anyone want to play with someone who stops new and interesting things from happening?

You can't accept correction or critical feedback. For example, you get upset or angry when people point out factual errors in your character's bio or something you're trying to have a character do, or when they point out that you're not following the game's rules of conduct, or when they raise concerns that your character might be OP.

You don't improve. People are often willing to overlook mistakes if you're willing to put in the effort to try to do better, but if it becomes clear after awhile that you're not going to change for the better, they'll probably just give up on you eventually.

You refuse to accept responsibility and blame everyone else. Rather than considering that your conduct might be the source of the problem, you decide that everyone else is being mean and unfair. Sure, some players are mean and unfair, but if it happens that almost nobody wants to roleplay with you or that almost everyone stops roleplaying with you very shortly, the problem is most likely on your end - so stop and take a good, hard look at yourself, because nobody wants to keep playing with someone who can't accept responsibility.


Other pages you should look at:

Beginner Tips For Entering A Roleplaying Community
General Roleplaying Tips & Advice
Tips To Be A More Thoughtful & Considerate Roleplayer
When A Game Master Or Roleplay Admin Might Be Power-Tripping - And What To Do About It
How To Spot & Handle Parasitic Roleplayers

Tips To Avoid Killing Your RP Character's Conversations
Basic Tips To Make Better & More Appealing Roleplaying Characters
Reasons Your RP Characters Might Look Arrogant & Egotistical
Reasons Your RP Characters Might Be Bad Friends Or Love Interests
Reasons Your RP Characters Might Be Creepy (In A Bad Way)
The RP Character Playability Test

Reasons Your Roleplay Might Not Be Working
Tips To Write Better Roleplay Prompts
Tips To Help You Write Better Roleplay Posts



Back to Roleplaying Tips & Guides
Go to a random page!